Gratitude, it's a good thing

Enjoy the Holidays….again!

The seasons are upon us.  A time to give thanks for all of our blessings, as well as a time for the "gimmes" to start. You know when the line is crossed from what the holiday season is really all about to, who wants what.  I'm guessing your ever-growing to-do list seems endless.  Here’s a thought,  simplify.  Your family doesn’t have to attend every holiday function and you can put a limit on a wish list. It’s really not too late to regain the true spirit of this magical time of year.  Do something together as a family to feel this spirit.  Volunteer for a Christmas project or help deliver food baskets. Go through your children’s toys together and donate like-new toys to people who truly need them. Ask your children their favorite holiday traditions.  You might just be surprised by their answers. Decide as a family what activities are most important to you and enjoy them to the fullest. It's amazing, you can actually get more out of doing less. Every holiday my family gathers and reverts back to our childhood rolls. We act like dorky kids and laugh until we cry.  I make an effort to place these memories deep in my heart to stay forever. My favorite time spent at home is cuddling with my children, any one of them I can talk into bringing me great joy,  and watching a Christmas movie.  Forget the presents, who really needs more fudge...? Soak up your family and make a memory this season. 

Moms and Depression

Many women suffer from some form of depression in their lifetime; it is one of the largest unmet health needs of women. Depression affects not only a mother, but her children as well. Being a mom takes not only good physical endurance, but also emotional well-being. Quite often women in need go untreated for depression. All women, at times, feel over worked and over whelmed, but this depression is different from feeling sad occasionally. it involves a loss of interest in activities you once loved, and emotional emptiness. These feelings are experienced along with difficulty sleeping and of loss of concentration. A Mom might feel as if she should be able to take care of herself, that her problem won’t affect anyone else in the family, but it will. Children of depressed mothers often suffer from a wide range of symptoms themselves such as; stomachaches, sleep problems, behavior issues and withdrawal. The truly heartbreaking part is that the child often feels responsible for their mother’s sadness. If you question what you are feeling, please talk to a doctor. Please know you are not alone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, what you are showing is a great sign of strength.

Stand firm but don’t stand still

What are you doing to make the world a better place for your children? Quite often people feel passionate about something, not quite as often do they do something about it. I have a saying on my wall, I pass it every day and it reminds me not to complain about a situation unless I am willing to act to improve it. Here’s the saying: Stand firm but don’t stand still. Are there any situations you see could use a little help? Maybe you’ve noticed that your child’s teacher could use a classroom volunteer, or an elderly neighbor might appreciate a little help in the yard. Noticing your neighborhood could benefit from a community garden is good, but picking up your shovel would be even better. Making the world a better place for our children doesn’t mean that we have to single handedly stop all crime or end global warming but it does mean it that we do anything we can, anywhere we can, to make the world a better place. Do something you’ve been thinking about and show your child that one person can make a difference. Remember your children are watching and it only takes a moment to make a memory that may last a lifetime.

Kids in Sports

Today’s topic…kids in sports. With the popularity of certain team sports on the rise such as soccer and la cross more and more families are joining the world of competition. Children involved in sports benefit much more that you might imagine. By being part of a team children learn lessons that will carry off the field as well. We all know that the physical activity alone is good for kids but here are some benefits you might not have considered: Commitment to an activity, working as a team player, learning good sportsmanship, taking care of your physical body as well as practicing a positive attitude. Parents and coaches have a perfect chance to shape their children’s personalities. We can show our children how to win gracefully as well as lose and still hold their head high. We can teach our children winning or losing is not what it’s all about. Going for it with pride is what will make you a champion! When you’re out there rooting for your kids think about what you say and how you say it. Remember it’s at times like these that it only takes a moment to make a memory or teach a lesson that may last a lifetime!

Bullies

I’m sure it won’t surprise you when I tell you there are bullies at school. Harassment in school doesn’t wait until children are older. It might shock you that kids in kindergarten are even at risk of being pushed around literally. Bullying can indeed take the form of hitting and pushing. But usually it isn’t physical violence. Bullying usually involves threats and name-calling. School safety experts say kids, parents and teachers can work together to stop this problem. Our local schools are working hard to teach empathy and compassion as well as the art of conflict resolution. Talk to your children. Let them know that they can stand up for themselves. Here are tips to teach your children: If you are being bullied, tell the bully in a firm voice that you don’t like what he or she is doing, Walk away quickly, and find an adult right away then tell them what has happened. Teach your kids to be smart and to know that they only deserve to be treated with kindness.

Be NICE!

Teaching your kids to behave properly in one easy step: Now I’ve got your attention. I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about all the rules we try to teach our kids. Treat people with kindness, don’t hit, bite or push, don’t yell or talk back, show respect, and don’t tease. The list seems to never end. Now a days parents are always coming up with new ways to teach their kids to behave. With the never ending parenting suggestions I can’t help but revert back to the line that has withstood the test of time. Treat others as you would have them treat you. Or in two words BE NICE! Nice might sound like just a cute little word with not much to base your behavior on but look it up. It means requiring tact, to be delicately subtle and sensitive, pleasant and kind. It’s source is Latin and means only by a very tortuous path did it reach its present sense of pleasant. It’s not always easy for children be nice It’s our job to show them how it’s done.

Unstructured Days of Summer Are Behind Us - Whew!

With the start of school upon us it’s time to leave the unstructured days of summer behind. Although the thought of a scheduled day may sound a bit more stressful it may actually make life a bit easier. Your children spend their day at school passing from one activity to the next easily. Without much thought or uncertainty. They know exactly what comes next. You might want to follow this lead at home. If you have battles over homework or getting you child dressed in the morning. Hold a family meeting. Talk about what things need to be done each day and make a plan that everyone agrees on. Remember after a full day at school, children are hungry and need a bit of time to unwind. Choose a time slot just for homework and provide you child with a comfortable place to work. With a bit of planning back to school time may actually be easy.

Back to School Transitions for Parents

Preschool or Kindergarten

• Visit your child's classroom a few times before school starts
• Always say a loving good-bye to your child, but once you do, you leave promptly--  Never sneak out.          
• Take time for yourself     

Middle School Jr High

• Be a good and supportive listener but try not to give advice too quickly.
• Problems young people can solve for themselves help to build confidence   
• Remember they are still young children but now have more pressure 

 High School

• Reassure your teenager that it is normal to feel confused and unsure at first and that most other teens feel the same way.
• Give your teenager as much control as you can (within limits) over the wardrobe so he/she feels that he/she "fits in".
• Stay involved                        

Off to College

• Encourage your kid to get involved. There are many activities on campus, so go ahead and join. Don't wait, either. Go ahead and get involved your first week of your freshman year
• Adjusting to college life can take a lot out of your kid because of the new class schedules, studying, and having to figure out how to handle it on your own. Because of this encourage them to stick to a schedule for eating and sleeping.
• Seek support from other moms and remember-- Take time for yourself again! 

A Mom's Minute: Picky Eaters

Okay, it's dinnertime.

The family is starved, everyone is tired, and dinner is served. That's when it starts.

The comments about how certain veggies are gross and some like sauce and some don't, some like it on the side and some want it right on top. Everyone has his or her likes or dislikes.

You can go two ways.

One way follows the philosophy simply stated as, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Or, you may opt for a more creative approach. Involve your children. Let them plan dinner for a change (with some guidelines). Teach them what a healthy meal is. Have the children choose a protein, a fruit or veggie, and a pasta or grain. Take down some of the cookbooks that never seems to make it off the shelf and teach your kids how to read and follow a new recipe.

Show them that it's fun to try new things. Take them shopping for the meal they have chosen. Let them help prepare it. Enjoy your time together in the kitchen. You'll be amazed with the results.

Enjoy your children and your dinner!

A Mom's Minute: The Short Answer

I was reading an article in a parenting magazine the other day (okay, the other year... but it's still bugging me). A gentlemen had written about teaching your teenager not to talk too much. He felt that at the supper table, small details of a story weren't important and that children of all ages should learn to cut things short so everyone could have time to share.

I would like to meet this man. I would love to tell him what I thought about his article. I wonder if he views all of his blessings as a problem.

How many of you would love to have your children excited to talk to you?! I know I am pleasantly surprised when my kids want to include me in the events of their day.

If your child's typical answer to the question, "How was your day?" is a short "Fine," you might want to try these questions instead:

"What was the best part of your day?"

"What was your least favorite thing you did today?"

With open-ended questions, you just might get your kids to actually talk. And if they already do, consider yourself blessed. Remember this at times like these: it only takes a moment to make a memory that lasts a lifetime.

A Mom's Minute: Who's the Boss?

Here's a question: Who's running your family?

Many parents feel they are doing their child a favor by letting them make a majority of the family's decisions. Decisions like what extra activities they are involved in, where they go to school, what they watch on TV, their bedtime and - believe it or not - even when it's time to take a bath.

Children indeed have their own opinions, but they also obviously have much less life experience. Giving your child choices is a great idea. It's our job as parents to teach them how to make an appropriate choice. To show them that not everyone's needs are met all at the same time and that fair doesn't always mean equal.

We need to teach them to follow through with their decisions and that once a task is begun, there is no quitting. If your child makes a choice that doesn't quite turn out as they wish, teach them to learn from their mistakes.

Let your kids have control that is age appropriate. The parents are the ones in the family that have the final say. It's not easy being a kid so don't add the pressure of making an adult decision. I'm sure you already know it's not easy being a parent. But it's definitely worth it.

Parenting Questions Answered

Traveling with Kids

What Your Teens Are Doing This Summer - Teacher Janet's most recent segment on KATU's AM Northwest